Saturday, December 19, 2009

A Poem for Woody, Pete, and All the Good Ol' Boys at the Courthouse

I think I'll buy myself a judge.
Yeah - that'll teach her who's boss.

He's just a kid - he'll never know about all this.
He's just a kid.
I'll shut him up with toys and ballgames and expensive summer vacations.

But her - SHE'S the one who screwed everything up.
She rejected me - she walked away after he was born.
She needed me, dammit!
I told her over and over, but she wouldn't listen.

She's just getting what's coming to her -
Like my Mom, when Dad left with me.
Look at him now - living in that trailer park on the Mexican border.
Women in and out of his life all these years
While Mom worked at the Wal-Mart.
He sure made her've got to make 'em pay.

Yeah, he taught me how to be a real man.
Don't make a baby with me
And think you're just gonna walk away and have a life!
You stupid woman!

Look at the one I've got now!
Two kids later, and she's obsessed with the gym and can't stop shopping.
She knew a good thing when she saw it -
All it takes is a Range Rover and a meal ticket to keep her satisfied.

Throw in a little religious talk,
And she feels too guilty to leave me.
Stupid b*itch - I pardon a few indiscretions and she thinks she owes me for forgiving her!

HA! And I just keep nailing my office staff - stupid girls...
They keep me from getting bored with her constant complaining and her drinking.

She sees what'll happen if she tries to leave me.

Yeah, I'll buy me a judge.

That'll make me a real man.

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