They also learn what is detrimental to that process.
Following is a list of behaviors to embrace if you want to become an effective, healthy, well-intentioned problem-solver.
While some of these suggestions are "no-brainers" for some of us, I know that we each struggle with at least one. Let's get to work solving that problem!
- Give up the habit of waiting. – The way you spend
your time defines who you are. You don’t get to choose how you are
going to die, or when; you can only decide how you are going to live
right now. Trust me, a year from now you will wish you had started
- Give up the excuses. – Sooner or later you will
come to realize that it’s not what you lose along the way that counts;
it’s what you do with what you still have. When you let go, forgive,
and move on, you in no way change the past, you change the future.
- Give up trying to be perfect. – Sometimes we try to
show the world that we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and
accepted by everyone. But we can’t please everyone, and we shouldn’t
try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our love, our complex emotions – our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are
and decide to be authentic, instead of perfect, we open ourselves up to
real relationships, real happiness, and real success. There is no need
to put on a mask. There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re
not. You are perfectly imperfect just the way you are.
- Give up doing things you know are wrong. – Nothing
is more damaging to you than doing something that you believe is wrong.
Your beliefs alone don’t help you grow and thrive, your behavior and
actions do. So always do what you know in your heart is right, for you.
- Give up feelings of entitlement. – Nobody owes you
anything. When you approach life with the false sense that you are owed
things, you will naturally become less productive and constantly find
yourself disappointed by reality. When you are grateful for what you
have, and see positive things as bonuses, versus owed entitlements, you
will earn great successes gradually as you grow.
- Give up relationships that want you to be someone else.
– The best kind of relationship is the one that makes you a better
person without changing you into someone other than yourself. This includes romantic, business and friend relationships.
- Give up letting others decide what you can and can’t do.
– In order to live your own authentic life, you have to follow YOUR
inner GPS, not someone else's. When others say, “You can’t do it!” or
“That’s impossible,” don’t lose hope. Just because THEY couldn’t
doesn’t mean YOU can’t.
- Give up being a helpless victim. – Yes, it is
unfortunate that sometimes bad things happen to the best of people.
Life can be unfair, unkind and unjust. However, being stuck in a victim
mentality does not nurture your ability to move onward and upward.
You’ve got to stand back up and take positive steps to heal and grow.
- Give up worrying about past failures. – Accept your
past without regret, handle your presence with confidence, and face
your future without fear. You are today where your thoughts and actions
have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions
- Give up blaming everyone else. – Either you own
your situation or it will own you. Either you take responsibility for
your life, or someone else will. Blame is a scapegoat – it’s an easy
way out of taking accountability for your own outcome. It’s a lot
easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within.
Blame is not constructive; it does not help you or anyone else – nobody
wins in the blame game. The amount of energy and stress it takes to
place blame elsewhere takes away from your ability to move forward and
find a real solution.
- Remember, the road you are traveling may be the more challenging one, but don’t lose hope. Don’t listen to the doubters, don’t let setbacks keep you down, and most of all, don’t give up on yourself. It’s okay if you don’t know how much more you can handle. It’s fine if you don’t know exactly what to do next. Eventually you’ll let go of how things ‘should be,’ and start to see all the great possibilities in front of you.