Monday, June 18, 2012

Do Men Like Strong Women?

Some men claim there is nothing more attractive to them than a strong, independent, and intelligent woman. They claim that they would choose this type of woman over a weak-minded, easily led woman. Yet women who are described as strong and independent often assert the opposite — their backbone and self-determination causes issues with men and they are eventually passed over for women with less fortitude.

Why the disconnect? Do men actually like strong women or are they only paying lip service to the ideal of a partner who will stand her ground and be on equal footing? My observations indicate that some men like the idea of a strong woman but few can cope with the reality of it.

The strong woman is not only strong, but she is also often opinionated and completely self-sufficient. At first the strong woman is intriguingly attractive to the man who is tired of women who agree with his every word and call for his assistance in every matter. A woman who he can have an intelligent discussion with, who will pay her share of the bills, who can get along with or without him? Sounds like the perfect woman.

But after some time with the strong woman he realizes he’s not all that interested in her strength anymore. He doesn’t want to debate. He’d rather she not always be so quick to question his ideas, ways, and motives. Why is she involved in so many activities, why can’t they spend more quality time together? Why doesn’t she let him handle some things for her or take his advice? Couldn’t she be less direct and more tactful, more caring?

In short, the man feels picked on, neglected, and unnecessary. His idea of a strong woman wasn’t this. He wanted a woman who could take care of herself, but would also take care of him and allow him to take care of her. At least sometimes. Is that too much to ask?

Some men do like strong women, including the opinionated, completely self-sufficient ones. But for every guy who claims to like strong women and does, there is another who truly only likes a woman whose strength of mind and body is equal to her need and desire to nurture and be nurtured.

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